The F-Word

I'm curious . . .

Did a four-letter word just pop into your mind?

Fame?

Fire?

Fear?

Flow?

Food?

The profane F-bomb?

If you and I have ever spent time together, you've most likely heard me drop that last one many times.

In fact, it makes me inexplicably happy when friends text photos of funky mugs or hand towels featuring the f-word in elegant calligraphy, followed by "just thinking of you! 🥰"

My favorite included FIVE photos!!!

FIVE!!!

I was a little giddy.

You may be wondering why receiving photos of a ridiculously crude and offensive (to many) word would make me so happy.

Better yet, why am I writing about it?

Especially when many of us were taught that we should be better than that (I have a lot to say about the word should, but I'll save that for another day).

• Especially those of us the world sees as females.
• And especially those of us the world sees as females who grew up in churches.
• And especially those of us the world sees as females who grew up in churches in the south. 

I believe in always striving to be our best selves (speaking for myself, some days, the best I can manage is rather meager; and that's ok).

What I don't believe in is that being our best includes closeting our real and true selves; that it means not expressing who we are and what we think and believe and how we feel.

Sometimes, the f-word is the only thing that makes sense . . . it's the only thing that expresses ALL that everything else cannot express.

Obviously, I have an affinity to THE f-word, but there's another f-word that I've been thinking about.

Faith.

What comes to mind for you with that word?

Truly, I'd like to know.

In my work as a spiritual director, faith and religion and spirituality are different yarns in the same yarn basket.

Faith and religion can be very different things to different people (and what feels right for one of us may not feel right for another of us):

One person might belong to a religion and not have faith. They may take their bodies to church, and DO all the required things, but find their hearts aren't in it.

Another person may have faith in a Divine Being, and connect with it through spiritual practices, and not be involved in a religious community.

Still another may have faith in a Higher Power, use spiritual practices to connect with it, and also belong to a religious community.

Often, my clients find that their growth edge in their spiritual health resides in the space where faith and religion have gotten tangled up.

Sometimes, the tangles are relatively small and like speed bumps, they slow traffic down. Other times, the tangles are gigantic and like sinkholes, swallow everything they touch.

No matter the size and shape of the tangle, facing one is A LOT of things and for many of us, our initial reaction when we discover one is to turn and run the other way . . . or at least, to stare at it and drop the F-bomb.

After many, MANY years of digging into and questioning my own beliefs around faith and religion and a Higher Power, I've come full circle, back to what I've known to be true for me all along.

My faith is not about religion.

My faith is about KNOWING deep in my bones, without a shadow of a doubt, that I a m part of Something Bigger Than Me.

And, my faith is about KNOWING deep in my bones, that the Something Bigger Than Me is also inside of me . . . that I carry a spark of Divinity within me.

It's not a blind faith.

I've had to ask a lot of questions.

Questions that led to deeper questions.

Questions that led to heartache.

Questions that led to new discoveries.

Questions that led to surprising answers.

Answers that led to more questions.

Answers that led to pulling on the threads of tangled faith and religion.

Answers that helped me untangle those threads so I could find what rings true for me.

Here's the thing: allowing the Holy Rebel in me to rally against the rules of polite society by simply saying the f-word, eventually led me to question my faith. And by questioning my faith, I found my real and true self. 

I found my Truth.

I adore receiving texts and photos of bedazzled F-charms; it reminds me of the Holy Rebel and how the power of questions can lead to powerful answers.

My wish for you, and for all of us this New Moon in Gemini, is that the Holy Rebel in each of us continues (or even begins) to challenge us to seek our truth by asking deeper questions.