Stitching Together My Cloak of Truths

Growing up . . .

. . . many of my friends were fantastic students. I was not.

They excelled at math and science, French and literature. I did not.

They were inducted into the National Honor Society. I was not.

I did, however, shine when it came to projects. 

If an assignment involved creating something with my hands, I created the most interesting and well-crafted project in the class.

Among the requirements for graduation from The Haden Institute's two year Spiritual Direction program was the creation and presentation of a final project. My project was inspired by reading Joan Chamberlean Englesman's The Queens's Cloak: A Myth for Mid-Life.

In this mythic story, written as a fairytale, the Queen rediscovers a beautiful magic cloak, left to her by her mother, which has been long hidden and packed away in her attic. It doesn't take long for the Queen to realize that the beauty and magic of the cloak belongs to her mother and that the cloak does not, and never will, fit the Queen herself.

The Queen sets off on a year-long journey to find, claim and re-member the pieces of her own story which she then stitches into a cloak, symbolic of and imbued with her deepest and most authentic truths.

Reading the myth itself was not very enlightening or thought provoking for me. But the commentary on each of its "episodes" provided insight around this wacky part of life called "Middle Age."

The commentary moves through the myth one "episode" at a time, beginning with Winter and moving through Spring, Summer and ending with Fall. As I was reading the story, I didn't see that correlation, but once it was pointed out, it was hard to miss. It reminded me of both the Native American Medicine Wheel and the Celtic Wheel of the Year. In the story, each of the seasons has an overarching theme:

• Winter is personal evaluation,
• Spring is unraveling and changing intimate relationships,
• Summer is struggling with negative or unknown inner material, and
• Fall is reconciliation (but not returning to the original state of things because the Queen's own transformation changes everything). 

This fairy tale also follows the cycle of the Heroine's Journey and in it, several important themes that emerge for women at mid-life are explored. One of the most important is the mother-daughter relationship, but others include reclaiming dreams we put on hold, imagining new possibilities, experiencing powerful emotions that may have been repressed and coming face-to-face with a new sense of urgency to figure out our lives.

The seeds for stitching together my own cloak were planted in April of 2022, when I realized that I was already deep in a process parallel to the Queen's: a real-life heroine's journey. Through my own journey, I now have the clarity and the vision to see where my life purpose is leading me and to claim and embody my truth . . . my magic.

My cloak is a visual representation of who I am in this world and marks where I am in time.

It's not a timeline of achievements or events, but rather brings together symbols that represent the different facets of me.

Except for the embroidery floss (which was hand-dyed by a friend, mostly from plants grown on her property), none of the textiles in the cloak are new:

• the base of my cloak (inside and outside) is made from a tablecloth that belonged to my grandmother.
• the patterned material on the outside of the cloak are all sari scraps.
• the violet border is from material found at a local repurposing store.
• the inside of the cloak is pieced together from various linens that were handed down to me, gifted to me or found in an antique store.

The entire cloak is hand stitched - from the joining of strips of the tablecloth, the temporary placement of elements, and the final embroidery. The process of hand stitching provided a beautiful way of connecting me to my ancestors, several of whom hand stitched textiles I have in my home (quilts, lace, linens and a Christening gown).

The act of hand stitching was also a form of meditation and prayer for me and so, the final cloak is steeped in prayer, much like a prayer shawl would be. This project was been such a lovely way for me to process and make meaning of where I'd been during my induction and travels into mid-life.

I had a vision for my Cloak of Truths but no instructions; piecing it all together, bringing it from formless to form, was been such a treasured and unexpected gift to myself.

The Outside

The outside of my cloak is made of cotton and silk scraps which were originally used to make saris. Though saris are not a part of my cultural or ancestral heritage, I chose to use this material because of its use in celebrations, rituals, rites of passage and because the fine, flowy fabric speaks of the Divine Feminine to me.

Inside Hidden Pockets

I've included two hidden pockets in my cloak. I tend to pick up pieces of nature when I'm outside; they remind me of how awe-inspiring our Creator is, of how healing nature is and of how there is a bit of the Divine in everything and everyone. These pockets are places of honor where I can tuck these little touchstones.

The Inside Stitching

My Motherline

My motherline places me in the present moment between my mother and grandmothers (back five generations) and my daughters and granddaughters (forward two generations).

The Labyrinth

The Labyrinth has been an important place for me to go as a seeker. It has held space for me to bring questions, struggles and celebrations. It always meets me where I am and every experience I've ever had on the Labyrinth has been unique.

My Creator

I've always understood my Creator to be One who dwells within me and One whom I dwell within. Over time, I've come to visualize that symbolically as a lemniscus with flowers and hearts on the outside of one loop and on the inside of the other loop.

My Soul Symbol

When I was a working potter, a symbol emerged that I carved on the bottoms of all my pots: a circle surrounding four groups of lines which were carved in the four directions. Later, I added sage for wisdom and clary sage for clarity. 

Animal Spirit Guides

Three animals have consistently appeared as guides for me throughout my life: a deer on my left, a bear on my right and a hawk.

The Elements

I often look for connections in how the elements are at play in my life: Spirit, Air, Fire, Earth, and Water.

The Reiki Symbols

As a Reiki Master/Teacher, the Reiki symbols are significant to me: Power, Mental and Emotional Healing, Distance Healing and the Master Symbol.

The Phases of the Moon

I tend to live by the seasons and cycles of the year and the moon's twenty-nine and a half day cycle is reflective of the four main seasons in the earth's orbit around the sun. Attuning to the moon's phases helps me stay connected to the larger cycles of the year.

Herbal Allies

Similar to the ways my Animal Spirit Guides have consistently gifted me their support, four plant guides have also gifted me their "medicine":

• Yarrow for harmony and discernment.
• Lavender is the weaver of potential and of walking in alignment.
• Rosemary for ancient memory.
• Calendula for childlike joy and vitality.

Foundational Touchstones

Part of my work with my own Spiritual Director has been in identifying four Foundational Touchstones, or truths. These have been so important to me over the past few years, as I return to them when I get off course and ungrounded. They help me to remember what is true for me:

• "I dwell in the Oneness and the Oneness dwells in me."
• "All of creation is connected and that includes me."
• "I am love and I am loved."
• "I value what I know, and I value who I am."